Real Talk: Friendship in Adulthood
A weekly series discussing the real topics on my mind in hopes of creating a conversation around opinions, current events, and real-life struggles that I think many of us are probably facing.
In this first installment, I thought I’d talk about what triggered this series.
I’m not sure if I’ve said but I’m 27 years old and live in a suburb of Manhattan. Any media depiction of someone my age with my ease of access to the city is full of cocktails, friends and fun but that’s far from the reality. Or at least my reality.
The truth of the matter is I spend most weekends in sweats, on my couch, watching movies or binge watching a show with my mom, since I still live at home (that’s another real talk for another day…). Would I rather be out and about having a grand old time? Absolutely.
I love staying in as much as the next gal but after awhile you crave the outside world. It’s like when you’re a kid and you wish you could eat cake every day and it would never fail that some adult would say if you have it every day you won’t appreciate it…I’m not sure if this is actually true in the case of cake, but you get what I’m sayin’.
The thing is, in my suburb of Manhattan there isn’t much to do and the things that there are to do are not exactly filled with people my age. There’s the younger set and the older set and neither exactly makes for a great time.
Of course, anywhere can be made fun with friends. Girl gangs seem to be what everyone is talking about right now and I’ve got a great one. I’ve also got a couple of great guy friends who are as true blue as they come. Before “the squad” was a thing I had my ride or dies dating all the way back to before we could drive.
And when we get together there is nothing better.
The problem is it seems to be getting harder and harder to unite the tribe, or even part of the tribe. Who’s moved, who’s gotten married; I myself am having my ass kicked by grad school (another real talk for another day). Demanding jobs, full social calendars; it seems the reasons keeping us apart continue to grow while the amount we see each other shrinks.
I always thought my late 20s would look something like Friends or How I Met Your Mother. All of us meeting up for drinks or hanging out a couple times a week; sharing every minutiae of our lives with each other, but that just isn’t the case.
I love them all but the situation can start to feel a little lonely. Especially while alone on my couch in suburbia. So, the logical solution would be: find more friends.
How do you make new friends at 27?
This is something I am working on solving but as a naturally shy introvert it’s an interesting problem to try and solve.
I recently read an article that gave me great perspective on this topic (find it here), but I wonder how many of you out there also feel this way? What have you done to help your situation?
Let me know in the comments and stay tuned for the next edition of Real Talk 😊